So, I have a dilemma, and it always happens when I’m in an unfamiliar group. I’m so worried and stressed I’m going to offend someone I CAN’T THINK! I watch every move I make and analyze every word delivered, to the point I probably look really awkward. What’s worse, the analyzing makes me uncomfortable so I can’t relax enough to be myself. It has other physical drawbacks too: headaches, stomachaches...lack of sleep. I hate it!
Currently, I’m in a writing group (online, which makes it worse), and the people are wonderful. But, I’m, like always, reluctant to be myself—like I’m in a cage—because I can’t stand the idea of doing something rude.
The entire situation is weird. See, I’m not insecure at all. Maybe it’s a culture shock, or maybe I’m just a big weirdo and just think I’m not insecure (but if I think that way, doesn’t it make it true?). I don’t know, but it’s so difficult—the worst situation IN THE WORLD! Tear =..(
I’m working on it, and I hope it gets better. Good thing I’ll have a choice to not put myself in awkward positions after I graduate—ouch my head hurts…
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| Blub, Blub, Blub, Blub Alexandra Busk-- Student Ambassador |
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